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Entry tags:
i found the cure to growing older ; one-shot
Title: I Found the Cure to Growing Older
Author: loudestoflove
Pairing: Kai/Sehun
Rating: PG-13
Length: 4300~ words
Summary: “I bet you were totally the kid that pulled girl's pigtails at school, weren't you?”
A/N: for fluff_bingo, prompt is hats. and also for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
thatdayismine cause she is the loml and also wicked impatient, god.
Author: loudestoflove
Pairing: Kai/Sehun
Rating: PG-13
Length: 4300~ words
Summary: “I bet you were totally the kid that pulled girl's pigtails at school, weren't you?”
A/N: for fluff_bingo, prompt is hats. and also for
thatdayismine cause she is the loml and also wicked impatient, god.“Jongin, come on,” Kyungsoo calls from the front door. “Everyone's already down in the van, you're going to make us late.” Jongin doesn't even turn at the sound of Kyungsoo's voice, just stuffs another shirt into his bag and yawns. If he never has to catch another flight before noon, he will die happy.
“Jongin.” Uh oh. Now he sounds mad.
“Just a sec,” he shouts, zipping up his bag. “Hyung,” he adds as an afterthought. Maybe it'll appease Kyungsoo. He catches a glance of himself as he heads out of their shared room and grimaces. No time to do his hair now. This whole being an idol thing is so much work. Why does he have to look good in an airport, anyway?
Kyungsoo is standing halfway out the door, arms crossed. He doesn't say anything, but the tight line of his lips broadcasts his exasperation well enough. “I'm coming,” Jongin grumbles, and Kyungsoo's eyes soften a little. “Have you seen my cap? The one I got the last time we were in China?” Kyungsoo answers with a shrug. “Shit.”
“Can we go now?” Kyungsoo asks. “I swear to God, I am just going to leave you here someday. Sehun can be lead dancer, I don't like you anymore.” There is absolutely no bite to Kyungsoo's words, and his resentful pout only evokes the tiniest bit of guilt in Jongin.
“Okay,” Jongin says distractedly. The mention of Sehun has reminded him of something, though. He drops his bag and darts into Sehun and Joonmyun's shared room.
“Where are you going now?” Kyungsoo moans.
Jongin emerges with one of Sehun's hats. He tugs it on, then spins it backwards. “Okay, now I'm ready.” He scoops up his bag and obediently lets Kyungsoo drag him downstairs at a near-run.
When they get to the van, their manager doesn't even bother to chew Jongin out for the hundredth time about sleeping in, he just points at him and glares menacingly. Jongin does his best to put on a sorry face, and then clambers into the back seat with Kyungsoo.
From the middle row, Sehun twists around and narrows his eyes at him. Jongin avoids his gaze and instead settles down against Kyungsoo's shoulder to catnap on the way to the airport. He doesn't want to have to give up the only cover he has for his bedhead.
“That's mine,” Sehun points out.
Jongin says nothing, feigns sleep, despite Kyungsoo shifting his shoulder underneath him. His eyes are closed but he can hear Sehun huff out his breath and move around in his seat.
He cracks an eyelid just in time to see Sehun stretch back, reaching for his hat. Instantly, Jongin shrinks down out of his reach, tipping his head back out of Sehun's grasp. Sehun groans in irritation and frowns, twisting further out of his seat to grab for Jongin. “Guys...” Kyungsoo sighs, and beside him, Chanyeol laughs.
Jongin is not paying them much attention though. He's focused on avoiding Sehun's hand and keeping his cap. He needs it more. “Stop being such a dick,” Sehun grimaces as Jongin swerves under his hand again, nearly ending up in Kyungsoo's lap. “You didn't even ask if you could borrow it!”
When Sehun's fingers brush the brim of the hat, Jongin knows he has to play hardball. He tugs it off his head and holds it as far behind him as he can manage. Sehun lunges back and Baekhyun yelps as Sehun's hip bumps into him. “I need it!” Jongin insists, arching back in the seat while Sehun scrabbles at his shoulder. “Do you want me to look bad in front of the fans?” Next to them, Kyungsoo leans desperately into Chanyeol, trying to stay out of the crossfire while Chanyeol shouts with laughter.
“Yes,” Sehun says grimly, pulling on Jongin's shirt front. Jongin is definitely awake now, grinning at Sehun's futile attempts to rescue his stolen property. “Give it back.”
“Come on, guys,” Joonmyun calls from the front seat. Jongin spares him a glance so that Joonmyun knows that he's ignoring him on purpose. “Settle down. It's just a hat.”
“It's my hat,” Sehun says, the petulance in his voice only making Jongin grin harder. He likes how hard Sehun is fighting for this, the focus in his eyes as he wraps a hand around Jongin's bicep and tries to pull his arm forward.
“But I need it more,” Jongin tells him.
“Enough,” Joonmyun says, his voice almost sharp. Jongin and Sehun pause, exchanging a look. Leader is mad. “Sehun, let Jongin have it for now. It's too late to go back. Jongin, stop taking things without permission.”
Feeling properly scolded, Jongin rolls his eyes, and has to bite back a smile when he sees Sehun doing the same. “Yes, leader,” Jongin says sullenly, pulling his arms back and settling down in his seat again. He is pleased, though. He totally won.
From his vantage point in the front, Joonmyun sighs and rubs at his temples and Kyungsoo nudges Jongin in the side. “Be nice,” he murmurs.
Sehun tugs sharply on Jongin's hair before reluctantly sliding back into his seat. Baekhyun looks relieved. “Don't lose it,” Sehun tells him through the gap between the seats.
Tugging the cap on again, Jongin shrugs a shoulder. “It's just a hat,” he says amiably. Sehun reaches back and punches him in the knee and grins at him. It lights something up in Jongin's chest and he grins back, fast and easy.
-
The day after they return to Korea is one of those incredibly rare days when they have a short schedule. Jongin's glad to get home early, his waist is aching as usual. He takes his time in the shower, letting the hot water relax his muscles, and when he comes out, Sehun is sulking on the couch. He throws his phone away and hunches his shoulders.
Jongin ducks into his room and throws on some clothes, emerging again and towelling off his hair. “What's wrong?” he asks, tossing the towel into a laundry basket. He knows that his hair will be a mess like this, but he leaves it anyway.
Sehun glares at his phone for a second, then looks up. The sight of Jongin's messy hair startles a laugh out of him. Jongin likes the way it eases the tension in his eyes. “It's nothing. Lu Han and Jongdae have vocal lessons this afternoon, so they can't hang out.”
Ah. Lu Han. Jongin pulls futilely at his hair, trying to put it into some kind of order, and he throws himself down on the couch next to Sehun, deliberately sitting on his phone. “That's dumb,” he says. Sehun shrugs a shoulder and looks down at his hands. It's not easy for any of them, the way they have to be split up most of the time, but Jongin knows that Sehun takes being separated from Lu Han harder than he'd like. “Wanna go get some ice cream?”
Sehun is distracted by digging his heels into Jongin's thighs and trying to pull his phone out from underneath him. “Ice cream?” he asks. “We're not allowed. And aren't we supposed to stay in the dorm?”
“So?” Jongin cocks his head and raises his eyebrows and when Sehun looks up, phone in hand, he laughs.
“Alright,” he says. He already looks less sullen.
Jongin is pleased. He climbs to his feet and grabs Sehun by the arm, dragging him up. “So let's go,” he says. Sehun shoves him off and snorts, and the two of them grab hoodies for anonymity, despite the summer heat. They know better than to tempt fate and assume they'll escape the fans.
They have to time it just right, but they manage to slip out of the building unnoticed by the staff. It's been a while since they did something like this, and it brings memories flooding back for Jongin. This is not the first time they've had to dodge out a side door, holding on to each other, trying desperately to hold back laughter and keep quiet. It's familiar in the best way possible.
Jongin tugs Sehun's hood down over his eyes as they slow down, finally far enough away that they probably aren't in immediate danger of being spotted. “It's been way too long since we did this,” Sehun tells him, smile emerging from behind his hood. “Ice cream!” He pumps his fist in the air and Jongin laughs.
At the shop, Jongin frowns when Sehun pulls out his wallet. “No,” he says, knocking Sehun's hand away and shouldering past him to the register. “I got it.”
For a second, Sehun stares at him, mouth half-open, and it takes the girl serving the ice cream two tries to get him to take his cone. He flushes a little and stutters out an apology to her and Jongin doesn't bother to hide the grin that stretches across his face. “Why are you being so nice, anyway?” Sehun scowls at him over his ice cream cone.
Jongin shrugs. “I'm your hyung,” he says blithely. He may only have four months on Sehun, but he's totally older.
The snort Sehun lets out at that could probably be heard across the street. “Uh huh,” he says drily, rolling his eyes. He lets it drop, though, which is probably a good thing, because Jongin doesn't really have an answer for him. At least, nothing other than that he doesn't like the way that Sehun gets all small and sad sometimes because of Lu Han. But that sounds dumb, so he'd rather not say it out loud. Easier just to scowl at Sehun and pretend he's offended.
The problem is, Sehun keeps that smug, unimpressed look on his face even as they settle into a booth in the corner. He knows, somehow, that Jongin is making a concession for him, and that makes an uncomfortable itch at the back of Jongin's neck.
Jongin solves that easily enough. He reaches out and grabs Sehun's fingers, gripping both his hand and his cone. “What are –“ Sehun begins and Jongin drags Sehun's arm forward, leaning in and taking an enormous bite of his ice cream. “You dick!” he exclaims, yanking his hand free and grimacing at his forlorn cone. “What was that for?”
“I paid for it,” Jongin tells him, his words garbled through a mouthful of ice cream. It's cold and he's already starting to get brain freeze. This might not have been the best idea.
Sehun kicks him in the shin and Jongin grins at him. He's pretty much drooling half-melted ice cream on himself but part of him doesn't even mind, because there's that spark in Sehun's eyes that he likes. “You are a terrible best friend,” Sehun says. He flicks Jongin's cup of ice cream, sends it spinning into his lap.
Jongin lets out a disappointed noise, swallowing. He frowns at Sehun and wipes at his mouth with the back of his hand. “You fucking suck,” he replies, making a face down at the melted mess in his lap. He grabs a couple of napkins and mops at it futilely. “I'm all sticky, man.”
The way Sehun is laughing at him makes his eyes almost disappear. “You totally deserve it,” he says, that smugness back again, and Jongin grumbles, but doesn't argue. He bends his head as he tries to clean himself up, biting his lip and trying to ignore the sparks Sehun's grin has set off in his fingertips.
-
Schedules run late one night, and by the time they all get back to the dorms, it's past midnight. Jongin had wanted to stay later, but Joonmyun insisted that they all leave together. They have to get up early the next morning, after all. Sehun had stayed behind while Jongin slowly gathered his things together, hoping that the watchful eyes of the rest of his group didn't catch that it was pain making him slow, not exhaustion.
He's not sure exactly what drives him to do it, but when Sehun slips into the bathroom for his shower, Jongin ducks into his bedroom. Joonmyun blinks at him. “Yes?” he asks.
Jongin ignores him. Instead, he flops down into Sehun's bed, kicking off his sweat pants and burrowing into the messy, unmade sheets. “Jongin, what are you doing?” Joonmyun asks. When Jongin peeks over at him, Joonmyun has his eyebrows raised, looking confused.
“'m going to sleep, what's it look like?” Jongin scowls at him and turns over, facing the wall. He can hear Joonmyun make a little irritated noise, but he doesn't say anything. “I'll be quiet hyung, promise.” he says softly, feeling a bit guilty. Joonmyun just tries so hard.
Joonmyun doesn't answer, but he doesn't come and try to drag Jongin out of bed, so Jongin takes it as a win. “Thanks, hyung.”
He's actually nodding off when Sehun comes back into the room. He doesn't notice Jongin at first, all curled up in his duvet, and he sits down to towel his hair dry and get ready to sleep. He leans back and his palm lands on Jongin's belly and Jongin groans, pawing his hand away. “What the hell?” Sehun jerks backwards, startled, nearly falling off the bed.
“Can't a dude get any sleep around here?” Jongin mumbles. He opens one eye to look up at Sehun. He's staring down, looking sleepy and unamused. Jongin likes the weight of his gaze on him and he feels the corners of his mouth curving up almost without his permission.
“This is my bed,” Sehun says dumbly. Jongin doesn't move. “My bed,” he repeats.
“So?”
There's a grunt and then Sehun is hooking an arm around Jongin's chest, trying to haul him off. “I need to sleep, Jongin.” Jongin relaxes completely, becoming dead weight in Sehun's arms. It's particularly effective, because he's more solidly built than Sehun, more muscular. Sehun pulls at him ineffectively until Jongin hisses with pain, and then he immediately pulls away. He sits back against the headboard, a little bit out of breath, shoulders slumped, looking irritated.
“Go to sleep, Sehun,” Jongin tells him. The beds are narrow, but Jongin squirms over until he's pretty much pressed flat against the wall, making room for Sehun to fit. “Early schedule tomorrow, remember?”
Sehun stares at him. “You're ridiculous,” he says. In the next bed over, Joonmyun laughs.
“Okay,” Jongin says. He closes his eyes.
Sehun exhales in a huff, then he's squeezing himself into the bed with Jongin. “We never sleep well like this,” he reminds Jongin. They're lying parallel now, and Jongin can feel the heat of Sehun's chest against his back. “You're dumb.”
Sehun is right, of course. It won't help his injury to be crammed into a tiny twin bed and he'll wake up in the morning stiff, aching right down to his bones, and even grumpier than usual. Right now, though, Sehun's making himself comfortable, fitting his feet between Jongin's and shifting forward on their shared pillow until Jongin can feel his breath on the back of his neck.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Jongin grumbles. Sehun laughs sleepily.
Joonmyun's voice is loud from across the room. “Can I turn off the light?” he asks. He sounds amused. “Are you two done?”
Jongin's glad for how he's facing the wall right now, so no one can see the way he turns red. There's a kind of realization dawning on him, but Jongin is far too tired to have any kind of epiphany right now, so he pushes it to the back of his head. “Yeah, we'll shut up now,” Sehun says.
As Jongin relaxes into sleep, trying to ignore the persistent throb of pain in his back, he could swear he feels Sehun's fingers ghost across his hips.
-
A few days later, Jongin is sprawled out across the couch in the living room. He's pretty pleased with himself, really. Just this morning, he'd stolen half of Sehun's breakfast and hidden his toothbrush. Now he's dozing with his earbuds in, a stolen pair of Sehun's sweatpants on. Not bad for a morning's work.
“You.” Jongin flinches as Sehun hops over the back of the couch and lands on his knees, pinning him there. “What is wrong with you lately?”
Alarm flares in Jongin's head and he props himself up on his elbows, struggling in vain to extricate himself from under Sehun. “What are you talking about?”
Sehun leans forward, hands pressing against Jongin's hips and holding him down. “It's like, all you seem to do lately is this annoying shit to get attention. It's like you're seven years old all over again.” He cocks his head. The expression on Sehun's face is an odd mixture of irritation and thoughtfulness. “What's up?”
Jongin has never done well under scrutiny. He pushes fruitlessly at Sehun, avoiding his eyes. “Nothing's up,” he mutters.
“Are you that starved for attention? Dude, you're EXO-K's Kai, you get to be front and centre all the time, I don't see – “
Jongin exhales heavily, wrinkling his nose. “I'm not starved for attention!” he protests. “I just – “ he realizes abruptly, what's been buzzing at the back of his head for weeks, and what's on the tip of his tongue. Suddenly, Sehun's weight seems that much heavier. He swallows hard.
“What?” Sehun asks.
“Nothing,” Jongin says too quickly.
Sehun's known him for way too long to let that slide, though. He narrows his eyes at Jongin. “No, you were gonna say something. Say it.” Jongin wants to crack a joke, to squirm out from under him, but Sehun sets all his weight behind his hands on Jongin's hips and his gaze on Jongin.
Jongin feels a bit light-headed. “I'm not desperate for attention,” he says.
“And?” Sehun prompts.
“I only want your attention.” His voice is way louder than he'd intended, and it echoes in their dorm. Everyone probably overheard him. He can feel a flush creeping up his neck.
Sehun's grip on him goes slack, and he leans back. “Wait, what?” His eyes are wide, confused.
Jongin takes advantage of Sehun's distraction to fight out from under him, falling on the floor with a thud. “Never mind,” he says hurriedly. He forces a laugh, but Sehun just watches him, eyes unreadable. “It was a joke. A dumb one.” He scrambles to his feet and throws Sehun one last look before he darts into his bedroom.
Kyungsoo is sitting at the desk, one eyebrow raised, looking amused. “Don't say it,” Jongin tells him, pointing a finger at him. He throws himself face down on his bed and groans into his pillow.
“You know,” Kyungsoo says thoughtfully. “I bet you were totally the kid that pulled girl's pigtails at school, weren't you?” He lets out a yelp when Jongin's pillow hits its mark, knocking him halfway off his chair.
-
There are a few things Jongin is very good at. Dancing, sleeping, and avoiding feelings. He spends the next week dodging Sehun at every turn. For once in his life, he's the first to get ready and out the door in the mornings, dragging Kyungsoo with him as a shield so that if nothing else, he can put a body in between him and Sehun. During dance practice, he studiously avoids Sehun's gaze and does his best to pretend like he's not even there.
The problem is, that's not really easy. For one, they basically spend all their time together anyway, between being crammed in a van or a tiny green room backstage or the dance practice room. And the whole time, Jongin feels the weight of Sehun's gaze on him. He sneaks tiny looks at him out of the corner of his eye, and he always finds Sehun watching him, his expression unreadable.
Still, he manages to keep it up for a while. There are a few close calls. One night, when Kyungsoo is in the shower, Sehun sneaks into their room. “Can we talk?” he asks quietly, but Jongin is too busy hiding his face in his blankets and pretending to be asleep. Maybe the snoring is a bit much, but Sehun takes the hint and leaves.
Jongin is aware, on one level, that he's being a dick. Sehun is his best friend, and avoiding him leaves a big hole in his life. When they're waiting to go out for a fanmeet, Jongin turns to say something to him without thinking. He catches himself, though, closing his mouth tightly and frowning. He tries ignore the way that Sehun's brow furrows, the wounded look on his face.
Sehun finally manages to corner him backstage after they record for Inkigayo. Jongin is out of breath, soaked with sweat, and maybe that's the reason he lets his guard down long enough for Sehun to drag him into an alcove. “Why are you avoiding me?” he asks, and Jongin can hear the hurt he's trying to mask. Sehun's grip on his wrist is like steel and there is no way he's getting out of this one.
“I'm not avoiding you,” Jongin protests. All Sehun has is to raise his eyebrows in disbelief, and Jongin is backpedalling. “I mean – I didn't mean to avoid you, it's just. Well, what I said.”
“What about that?” Sehun asks carefully. There's something weird in his voice, but when Jongin searches his face, Sehun's eyes are trained on the floor.
“I didn't want to make it uncomfortable for you.” He doesn't like the faint tremor in his voice, but he does like that it makes Sehun meet his eyes again.
“Stupid,” Sehun says. Jongin frowns at him. He wasn't expecting that. “You can't just say things like that.” Jongin opens his mouth up to protest but Sehun squeezes his wrist and he stays silent. “You didn't even give me a chance to answer you.”
Jongin's eyes narrow with confusion. “Wait, I don't get it.”
Sehun rolls his eyes. “You are so dumb,” he says, and then he's hooking a hand on the back of Jongin's sweaty neck and leaning in and kissing him and Jongin's brain short-circuits.
It's only a quick kiss, but Sehun isn't hesitant or shy about it. Jongin leans into it eagerly, lips parting under the gentle pressure of Sehun's before he's already pulling away. Jongin makes a little disappointed noise in the back of his throat, shoulders dropping. Sehun nudges him with his knuckles.
“We could get caught at any time,” he points out. Jongin hates that he's right, but he doesn't protest. He's still riding the high of the taste of Sehun's mouth.
“So you...?” Jongin tilts his head when he looks at Sehun and Sehun lets his grip on Jongin's wrist loosens. He trails his hand down to curl his fingers into Jongin's, and maybe it's a bit cheesy, but even when they're both sweaty and kinda gross, Jongin loves the way Sehun's hand feels in his.
Sehun shrugs a shoulder nonchalantly. “Yeah,” he agrees.
Jongin breaks into a blinding smile. “Okay,” he says, and Sehun laughs, leaning forward until their foreheads are pressing together. It feels a little like putting the final piece in a puzzle, the way that Sehun's looking at him.
From down the hall, Joonmyun shouts their names. They pull apart abruptly, and as they run back towards their green room, Sehun's glance at Jongin is pleased and mischevious. “Where were you?” Joonmyun asks, shooing them to where the rest of the group is waiting for them, so they can leave. “We can't always be waiting for you, Jongin.”
“We're here now,” Sehun scoffs, and Jongin has to suppress his grin. Kyungsoo pushes his sweaty bangs out of his face, looking from Sehun to Jongin, then back again, a knowing smile spreading across his face. Jongin punches him, and Kyungsoo only laughs, rubbing his arm.
“Yeah, hyung, what are you complaining about?” Jongin asks. “Do you just miss my handsome face that much?”
“I can't tell if I like it better when you two weren't talking,” Joonmyun sighs, but there's the faint trace of a fond smile on his lips.
Jongin elbows Sehun, and Sehun nudges him back, and Kyungsoo insinuates his small frame between the two of them. “If you're done, can we go?” he asks, and Jongin ducks his head, flushing a little. On Kyungsoo's other side, Sehun rubs at the back of his neck and laughs.
In the van, Sehun pushes Chanyeol out of the way so that he can grab the back seat, Jongin hot on his heels. Jongin sits closer than strictly necessary, and they press their heads together, sharing one set of earbuds. Sehun turns on some overly poppy girl group and Jongin groans, slapping Sehun's hands away from his ipod so he can put on something more tolerable. Making a face at him, Sehun's hand finds his, linking their pinkies, and when Jongin grins, he feels like his face might break.
“Jongin.” Uh oh. Now he sounds mad.
“Just a sec,” he shouts, zipping up his bag. “Hyung,” he adds as an afterthought. Maybe it'll appease Kyungsoo. He catches a glance of himself as he heads out of their shared room and grimaces. No time to do his hair now. This whole being an idol thing is so much work. Why does he have to look good in an airport, anyway?
Kyungsoo is standing halfway out the door, arms crossed. He doesn't say anything, but the tight line of his lips broadcasts his exasperation well enough. “I'm coming,” Jongin grumbles, and Kyungsoo's eyes soften a little. “Have you seen my cap? The one I got the last time we were in China?” Kyungsoo answers with a shrug. “Shit.”
“Can we go now?” Kyungsoo asks. “I swear to God, I am just going to leave you here someday. Sehun can be lead dancer, I don't like you anymore.” There is absolutely no bite to Kyungsoo's words, and his resentful pout only evokes the tiniest bit of guilt in Jongin.
“Okay,” Jongin says distractedly. The mention of Sehun has reminded him of something, though. He drops his bag and darts into Sehun and Joonmyun's shared room.
“Where are you going now?” Kyungsoo moans.
Jongin emerges with one of Sehun's hats. He tugs it on, then spins it backwards. “Okay, now I'm ready.” He scoops up his bag and obediently lets Kyungsoo drag him downstairs at a near-run.
When they get to the van, their manager doesn't even bother to chew Jongin out for the hundredth time about sleeping in, he just points at him and glares menacingly. Jongin does his best to put on a sorry face, and then clambers into the back seat with Kyungsoo.
From the middle row, Sehun twists around and narrows his eyes at him. Jongin avoids his gaze and instead settles down against Kyungsoo's shoulder to catnap on the way to the airport. He doesn't want to have to give up the only cover he has for his bedhead.
“That's mine,” Sehun points out.
Jongin says nothing, feigns sleep, despite Kyungsoo shifting his shoulder underneath him. His eyes are closed but he can hear Sehun huff out his breath and move around in his seat.
He cracks an eyelid just in time to see Sehun stretch back, reaching for his hat. Instantly, Jongin shrinks down out of his reach, tipping his head back out of Sehun's grasp. Sehun groans in irritation and frowns, twisting further out of his seat to grab for Jongin. “Guys...” Kyungsoo sighs, and beside him, Chanyeol laughs.
Jongin is not paying them much attention though. He's focused on avoiding Sehun's hand and keeping his cap. He needs it more. “Stop being such a dick,” Sehun grimaces as Jongin swerves under his hand again, nearly ending up in Kyungsoo's lap. “You didn't even ask if you could borrow it!”
When Sehun's fingers brush the brim of the hat, Jongin knows he has to play hardball. He tugs it off his head and holds it as far behind him as he can manage. Sehun lunges back and Baekhyun yelps as Sehun's hip bumps into him. “I need it!” Jongin insists, arching back in the seat while Sehun scrabbles at his shoulder. “Do you want me to look bad in front of the fans?” Next to them, Kyungsoo leans desperately into Chanyeol, trying to stay out of the crossfire while Chanyeol shouts with laughter.
“Yes,” Sehun says grimly, pulling on Jongin's shirt front. Jongin is definitely awake now, grinning at Sehun's futile attempts to rescue his stolen property. “Give it back.”
“Come on, guys,” Joonmyun calls from the front seat. Jongin spares him a glance so that Joonmyun knows that he's ignoring him on purpose. “Settle down. It's just a hat.”
“It's my hat,” Sehun says, the petulance in his voice only making Jongin grin harder. He likes how hard Sehun is fighting for this, the focus in his eyes as he wraps a hand around Jongin's bicep and tries to pull his arm forward.
“But I need it more,” Jongin tells him.
“Enough,” Joonmyun says, his voice almost sharp. Jongin and Sehun pause, exchanging a look. Leader is mad. “Sehun, let Jongin have it for now. It's too late to go back. Jongin, stop taking things without permission.”
Feeling properly scolded, Jongin rolls his eyes, and has to bite back a smile when he sees Sehun doing the same. “Yes, leader,” Jongin says sullenly, pulling his arms back and settling down in his seat again. He is pleased, though. He totally won.
From his vantage point in the front, Joonmyun sighs and rubs at his temples and Kyungsoo nudges Jongin in the side. “Be nice,” he murmurs.
Sehun tugs sharply on Jongin's hair before reluctantly sliding back into his seat. Baekhyun looks relieved. “Don't lose it,” Sehun tells him through the gap between the seats.
Tugging the cap on again, Jongin shrugs a shoulder. “It's just a hat,” he says amiably. Sehun reaches back and punches him in the knee and grins at him. It lights something up in Jongin's chest and he grins back, fast and easy.
-
The day after they return to Korea is one of those incredibly rare days when they have a short schedule. Jongin's glad to get home early, his waist is aching as usual. He takes his time in the shower, letting the hot water relax his muscles, and when he comes out, Sehun is sulking on the couch. He throws his phone away and hunches his shoulders.
Jongin ducks into his room and throws on some clothes, emerging again and towelling off his hair. “What's wrong?” he asks, tossing the towel into a laundry basket. He knows that his hair will be a mess like this, but he leaves it anyway.
Sehun glares at his phone for a second, then looks up. The sight of Jongin's messy hair startles a laugh out of him. Jongin likes the way it eases the tension in his eyes. “It's nothing. Lu Han and Jongdae have vocal lessons this afternoon, so they can't hang out.”
Ah. Lu Han. Jongin pulls futilely at his hair, trying to put it into some kind of order, and he throws himself down on the couch next to Sehun, deliberately sitting on his phone. “That's dumb,” he says. Sehun shrugs a shoulder and looks down at his hands. It's not easy for any of them, the way they have to be split up most of the time, but Jongin knows that Sehun takes being separated from Lu Han harder than he'd like. “Wanna go get some ice cream?”
Sehun is distracted by digging his heels into Jongin's thighs and trying to pull his phone out from underneath him. “Ice cream?” he asks. “We're not allowed. And aren't we supposed to stay in the dorm?”
“So?” Jongin cocks his head and raises his eyebrows and when Sehun looks up, phone in hand, he laughs.
“Alright,” he says. He already looks less sullen.
Jongin is pleased. He climbs to his feet and grabs Sehun by the arm, dragging him up. “So let's go,” he says. Sehun shoves him off and snorts, and the two of them grab hoodies for anonymity, despite the summer heat. They know better than to tempt fate and assume they'll escape the fans.
They have to time it just right, but they manage to slip out of the building unnoticed by the staff. It's been a while since they did something like this, and it brings memories flooding back for Jongin. This is not the first time they've had to dodge out a side door, holding on to each other, trying desperately to hold back laughter and keep quiet. It's familiar in the best way possible.
Jongin tugs Sehun's hood down over his eyes as they slow down, finally far enough away that they probably aren't in immediate danger of being spotted. “It's been way too long since we did this,” Sehun tells him, smile emerging from behind his hood. “Ice cream!” He pumps his fist in the air and Jongin laughs.
At the shop, Jongin frowns when Sehun pulls out his wallet. “No,” he says, knocking Sehun's hand away and shouldering past him to the register. “I got it.”
For a second, Sehun stares at him, mouth half-open, and it takes the girl serving the ice cream two tries to get him to take his cone. He flushes a little and stutters out an apology to her and Jongin doesn't bother to hide the grin that stretches across his face. “Why are you being so nice, anyway?” Sehun scowls at him over his ice cream cone.
Jongin shrugs. “I'm your hyung,” he says blithely. He may only have four months on Sehun, but he's totally older.
The snort Sehun lets out at that could probably be heard across the street. “Uh huh,” he says drily, rolling his eyes. He lets it drop, though, which is probably a good thing, because Jongin doesn't really have an answer for him. At least, nothing other than that he doesn't like the way that Sehun gets all small and sad sometimes because of Lu Han. But that sounds dumb, so he'd rather not say it out loud. Easier just to scowl at Sehun and pretend he's offended.
The problem is, Sehun keeps that smug, unimpressed look on his face even as they settle into a booth in the corner. He knows, somehow, that Jongin is making a concession for him, and that makes an uncomfortable itch at the back of Jongin's neck.
Jongin solves that easily enough. He reaches out and grabs Sehun's fingers, gripping both his hand and his cone. “What are –“ Sehun begins and Jongin drags Sehun's arm forward, leaning in and taking an enormous bite of his ice cream. “You dick!” he exclaims, yanking his hand free and grimacing at his forlorn cone. “What was that for?”
“I paid for it,” Jongin tells him, his words garbled through a mouthful of ice cream. It's cold and he's already starting to get brain freeze. This might not have been the best idea.
Sehun kicks him in the shin and Jongin grins at him. He's pretty much drooling half-melted ice cream on himself but part of him doesn't even mind, because there's that spark in Sehun's eyes that he likes. “You are a terrible best friend,” Sehun says. He flicks Jongin's cup of ice cream, sends it spinning into his lap.
Jongin lets out a disappointed noise, swallowing. He frowns at Sehun and wipes at his mouth with the back of his hand. “You fucking suck,” he replies, making a face down at the melted mess in his lap. He grabs a couple of napkins and mops at it futilely. “I'm all sticky, man.”
The way Sehun is laughing at him makes his eyes almost disappear. “You totally deserve it,” he says, that smugness back again, and Jongin grumbles, but doesn't argue. He bends his head as he tries to clean himself up, biting his lip and trying to ignore the sparks Sehun's grin has set off in his fingertips.
-
Schedules run late one night, and by the time they all get back to the dorms, it's past midnight. Jongin had wanted to stay later, but Joonmyun insisted that they all leave together. They have to get up early the next morning, after all. Sehun had stayed behind while Jongin slowly gathered his things together, hoping that the watchful eyes of the rest of his group didn't catch that it was pain making him slow, not exhaustion.
He's not sure exactly what drives him to do it, but when Sehun slips into the bathroom for his shower, Jongin ducks into his bedroom. Joonmyun blinks at him. “Yes?” he asks.
Jongin ignores him. Instead, he flops down into Sehun's bed, kicking off his sweat pants and burrowing into the messy, unmade sheets. “Jongin, what are you doing?” Joonmyun asks. When Jongin peeks over at him, Joonmyun has his eyebrows raised, looking confused.
“'m going to sleep, what's it look like?” Jongin scowls at him and turns over, facing the wall. He can hear Joonmyun make a little irritated noise, but he doesn't say anything. “I'll be quiet hyung, promise.” he says softly, feeling a bit guilty. Joonmyun just tries so hard.
Joonmyun doesn't answer, but he doesn't come and try to drag Jongin out of bed, so Jongin takes it as a win. “Thanks, hyung.”
He's actually nodding off when Sehun comes back into the room. He doesn't notice Jongin at first, all curled up in his duvet, and he sits down to towel his hair dry and get ready to sleep. He leans back and his palm lands on Jongin's belly and Jongin groans, pawing his hand away. “What the hell?” Sehun jerks backwards, startled, nearly falling off the bed.
“Can't a dude get any sleep around here?” Jongin mumbles. He opens one eye to look up at Sehun. He's staring down, looking sleepy and unamused. Jongin likes the weight of his gaze on him and he feels the corners of his mouth curving up almost without his permission.
“This is my bed,” Sehun says dumbly. Jongin doesn't move. “My bed,” he repeats.
“So?”
There's a grunt and then Sehun is hooking an arm around Jongin's chest, trying to haul him off. “I need to sleep, Jongin.” Jongin relaxes completely, becoming dead weight in Sehun's arms. It's particularly effective, because he's more solidly built than Sehun, more muscular. Sehun pulls at him ineffectively until Jongin hisses with pain, and then he immediately pulls away. He sits back against the headboard, a little bit out of breath, shoulders slumped, looking irritated.
“Go to sleep, Sehun,” Jongin tells him. The beds are narrow, but Jongin squirms over until he's pretty much pressed flat against the wall, making room for Sehun to fit. “Early schedule tomorrow, remember?”
Sehun stares at him. “You're ridiculous,” he says. In the next bed over, Joonmyun laughs.
“Okay,” Jongin says. He closes his eyes.
Sehun exhales in a huff, then he's squeezing himself into the bed with Jongin. “We never sleep well like this,” he reminds Jongin. They're lying parallel now, and Jongin can feel the heat of Sehun's chest against his back. “You're dumb.”
Sehun is right, of course. It won't help his injury to be crammed into a tiny twin bed and he'll wake up in the morning stiff, aching right down to his bones, and even grumpier than usual. Right now, though, Sehun's making himself comfortable, fitting his feet between Jongin's and shifting forward on their shared pillow until Jongin can feel his breath on the back of his neck.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Jongin grumbles. Sehun laughs sleepily.
Joonmyun's voice is loud from across the room. “Can I turn off the light?” he asks. He sounds amused. “Are you two done?”
Jongin's glad for how he's facing the wall right now, so no one can see the way he turns red. There's a kind of realization dawning on him, but Jongin is far too tired to have any kind of epiphany right now, so he pushes it to the back of his head. “Yeah, we'll shut up now,” Sehun says.
As Jongin relaxes into sleep, trying to ignore the persistent throb of pain in his back, he could swear he feels Sehun's fingers ghost across his hips.
-
A few days later, Jongin is sprawled out across the couch in the living room. He's pretty pleased with himself, really. Just this morning, he'd stolen half of Sehun's breakfast and hidden his toothbrush. Now he's dozing with his earbuds in, a stolen pair of Sehun's sweatpants on. Not bad for a morning's work.
“You.” Jongin flinches as Sehun hops over the back of the couch and lands on his knees, pinning him there. “What is wrong with you lately?”
Alarm flares in Jongin's head and he props himself up on his elbows, struggling in vain to extricate himself from under Sehun. “What are you talking about?”
Sehun leans forward, hands pressing against Jongin's hips and holding him down. “It's like, all you seem to do lately is this annoying shit to get attention. It's like you're seven years old all over again.” He cocks his head. The expression on Sehun's face is an odd mixture of irritation and thoughtfulness. “What's up?”
Jongin has never done well under scrutiny. He pushes fruitlessly at Sehun, avoiding his eyes. “Nothing's up,” he mutters.
“Are you that starved for attention? Dude, you're EXO-K's Kai, you get to be front and centre all the time, I don't see – “
Jongin exhales heavily, wrinkling his nose. “I'm not starved for attention!” he protests. “I just – “ he realizes abruptly, what's been buzzing at the back of his head for weeks, and what's on the tip of his tongue. Suddenly, Sehun's weight seems that much heavier. He swallows hard.
“What?” Sehun asks.
“Nothing,” Jongin says too quickly.
Sehun's known him for way too long to let that slide, though. He narrows his eyes at Jongin. “No, you were gonna say something. Say it.” Jongin wants to crack a joke, to squirm out from under him, but Sehun sets all his weight behind his hands on Jongin's hips and his gaze on Jongin.
Jongin feels a bit light-headed. “I'm not desperate for attention,” he says.
“And?” Sehun prompts.
“I only want your attention.” His voice is way louder than he'd intended, and it echoes in their dorm. Everyone probably overheard him. He can feel a flush creeping up his neck.
Sehun's grip on him goes slack, and he leans back. “Wait, what?” His eyes are wide, confused.
Jongin takes advantage of Sehun's distraction to fight out from under him, falling on the floor with a thud. “Never mind,” he says hurriedly. He forces a laugh, but Sehun just watches him, eyes unreadable. “It was a joke. A dumb one.” He scrambles to his feet and throws Sehun one last look before he darts into his bedroom.
Kyungsoo is sitting at the desk, one eyebrow raised, looking amused. “Don't say it,” Jongin tells him, pointing a finger at him. He throws himself face down on his bed and groans into his pillow.
“You know,” Kyungsoo says thoughtfully. “I bet you were totally the kid that pulled girl's pigtails at school, weren't you?” He lets out a yelp when Jongin's pillow hits its mark, knocking him halfway off his chair.
-
There are a few things Jongin is very good at. Dancing, sleeping, and avoiding feelings. He spends the next week dodging Sehun at every turn. For once in his life, he's the first to get ready and out the door in the mornings, dragging Kyungsoo with him as a shield so that if nothing else, he can put a body in between him and Sehun. During dance practice, he studiously avoids Sehun's gaze and does his best to pretend like he's not even there.
The problem is, that's not really easy. For one, they basically spend all their time together anyway, between being crammed in a van or a tiny green room backstage or the dance practice room. And the whole time, Jongin feels the weight of Sehun's gaze on him. He sneaks tiny looks at him out of the corner of his eye, and he always finds Sehun watching him, his expression unreadable.
Still, he manages to keep it up for a while. There are a few close calls. One night, when Kyungsoo is in the shower, Sehun sneaks into their room. “Can we talk?” he asks quietly, but Jongin is too busy hiding his face in his blankets and pretending to be asleep. Maybe the snoring is a bit much, but Sehun takes the hint and leaves.
Jongin is aware, on one level, that he's being a dick. Sehun is his best friend, and avoiding him leaves a big hole in his life. When they're waiting to go out for a fanmeet, Jongin turns to say something to him without thinking. He catches himself, though, closing his mouth tightly and frowning. He tries ignore the way that Sehun's brow furrows, the wounded look on his face.
Sehun finally manages to corner him backstage after they record for Inkigayo. Jongin is out of breath, soaked with sweat, and maybe that's the reason he lets his guard down long enough for Sehun to drag him into an alcove. “Why are you avoiding me?” he asks, and Jongin can hear the hurt he's trying to mask. Sehun's grip on his wrist is like steel and there is no way he's getting out of this one.
“I'm not avoiding you,” Jongin protests. All Sehun has is to raise his eyebrows in disbelief, and Jongin is backpedalling. “I mean – I didn't mean to avoid you, it's just. Well, what I said.”
“What about that?” Sehun asks carefully. There's something weird in his voice, but when Jongin searches his face, Sehun's eyes are trained on the floor.
“I didn't want to make it uncomfortable for you.” He doesn't like the faint tremor in his voice, but he does like that it makes Sehun meet his eyes again.
“Stupid,” Sehun says. Jongin frowns at him. He wasn't expecting that. “You can't just say things like that.” Jongin opens his mouth up to protest but Sehun squeezes his wrist and he stays silent. “You didn't even give me a chance to answer you.”
Jongin's eyes narrow with confusion. “Wait, I don't get it.”
Sehun rolls his eyes. “You are so dumb,” he says, and then he's hooking a hand on the back of Jongin's sweaty neck and leaning in and kissing him and Jongin's brain short-circuits.
It's only a quick kiss, but Sehun isn't hesitant or shy about it. Jongin leans into it eagerly, lips parting under the gentle pressure of Sehun's before he's already pulling away. Jongin makes a little disappointed noise in the back of his throat, shoulders dropping. Sehun nudges him with his knuckles.
“We could get caught at any time,” he points out. Jongin hates that he's right, but he doesn't protest. He's still riding the high of the taste of Sehun's mouth.
“So you...?” Jongin tilts his head when he looks at Sehun and Sehun lets his grip on Jongin's wrist loosens. He trails his hand down to curl his fingers into Jongin's, and maybe it's a bit cheesy, but even when they're both sweaty and kinda gross, Jongin loves the way Sehun's hand feels in his.
Sehun shrugs a shoulder nonchalantly. “Yeah,” he agrees.
Jongin breaks into a blinding smile. “Okay,” he says, and Sehun laughs, leaning forward until their foreheads are pressing together. It feels a little like putting the final piece in a puzzle, the way that Sehun's looking at him.
From down the hall, Joonmyun shouts their names. They pull apart abruptly, and as they run back towards their green room, Sehun's glance at Jongin is pleased and mischevious. “Where were you?” Joonmyun asks, shooing them to where the rest of the group is waiting for them, so they can leave. “We can't always be waiting for you, Jongin.”
“We're here now,” Sehun scoffs, and Jongin has to suppress his grin. Kyungsoo pushes his sweaty bangs out of his face, looking from Sehun to Jongin, then back again, a knowing smile spreading across his face. Jongin punches him, and Kyungsoo only laughs, rubbing his arm.
“Yeah, hyung, what are you complaining about?” Jongin asks. “Do you just miss my handsome face that much?”
“I can't tell if I like it better when you two weren't talking,” Joonmyun sighs, but there's the faint trace of a fond smile on his lips.
Jongin elbows Sehun, and Sehun nudges him back, and Kyungsoo insinuates his small frame between the two of them. “If you're done, can we go?” he asks, and Jongin ducks his head, flushing a little. On Kyungsoo's other side, Sehun rubs at the back of his neck and laughs.
In the van, Sehun pushes Chanyeol out of the way so that he can grab the back seat, Jongin hot on his heels. Jongin sits closer than strictly necessary, and they press their heads together, sharing one set of earbuds. Sehun turns on some overly poppy girl group and Jongin groans, slapping Sehun's hands away from his ipod so he can put on something more tolerable. Making a face at him, Sehun's hand finds his, linking their pinkies, and when Jongin grins, he feels like his face might break.
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at the end of this story i was the one with a huge grin and thinking my face might break. <3
i love this story, you rock. ;nn; *heart*
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